Advice & Information to Help you through the Healing Process
Safe ways of expressing anger
Anger can be a very scary emotion to carry around with you, but if you can find a way to let it out safely, it can feel great. Afterwards you will feel a lot lighter, and find things much easier to cope with.
Sometimes the anger will come back until we have managed to heal fully, and sometimes things will make us angry after we have healed. So if you can find a way that feels safe for you to release your anger, it can be a powerful friend in healing and coping with life.
Below we have listed some ways that other survivors choose to release their anger. Maybe one of them will work for you, or maybe they will give you an idea that will help you find your own way.
- Finding an isolated place in which to scream loudly e.g. on top of the Malvern Hills, or on a beach in a storm.
- Screaming in a place where the sound is masked by other sounds; e.g. under a railway bridge when the train goes over, or roll the car window up while you are driving and scream.
- Visiting a beach, river or other open space where you can throw stones or sticks with force and abandon (walking your own or a friends dog can be a great excuse to go out and throw things).
- Visiting a beach where pictures can be drawn in the sand and then scrubbed out, or build sand castles and jump on them (or borrow a child’s sandpit).
- Punching and kicking a pillow or a cushion.
- Ripping up old newspapers or telephone directories – or jumping and stamping on cardboard boxes.
- Clean the house or garage - doing the housework, ie physical exercise, helps to relieve tension.
- Go for a run, do some aerobics, or just jump up and down!
- Dance to your favourite music – you can play some loud music, close the curtains and dance madly.
- Write down how you are feeling – you don’t have to worry about spelling, grammar or writing ‘neatly’, you can just scrawl and scribble the words to describe your anger.
- Say you are angry, or shout out how angry you are – tell the walls, the curtains or your teddy bear (teddy bears always keep your secrets).
- Tell or write to the person who you are angry with – let them know why you are angry, use: "I am angry because…", rather than: "You make me angry because…"Smash old and cracked crockery – into a bin or cardboard box is best if you don’t want to clean up afterwards!
- Chop wood, or break sticks – but please don’t hurt yourself!